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Feeling Of Insecurity

               Feeling Of Insecurity

Hello Team Core
Hope You all are safe and sound
God Bless You all and Your Family

Has been a while I wasn't able to write all my thought and feelings here. As you all know that I am trying to work on my YouTube Channel "The Roka Way". 

Feeling Of Insecurity

Everyone's Life has been so complicated lately. Who had ever thought on November 2019 that things would go this much bad. We have faced enough and hope it will end soon. The Ultimate Power has shown us that there nothing bigger than it. When I say Ultimate Power it doesn't mean I don't believe in God in fact I believe that I believe in all Devine Power to which we call in different names. I have been every source to pray from temple to mosque to Church to Guru Dwar and all. What I believe that the source is one just the names and ways are different like Apple is an Apple but the sound made is completely different in different languages. 

Corona hasn't been nice to us so far

Corona hasn't been nice to us so far. So many deaths, so many infected and under intense; So many under threat and all scared. It has changed changed people life economically, phytologically as well as physically. I don't want to go deep into it but I just want to remind you that if we all can go through this we can go through anything. 
Loosing job on July just 2 days before my birthday I didn't had anyone to blame neither the company nor myself. With the loan of USD 12,500; I just considered myself as another unlucky one. Now when I turn back and see not able to pay a penny since the half salary from March till now and no job still; Taking more loan for applying visit visa, Is there anything more to come and then comes Covid 19 positive report of my better half and I have to do the test as well for it. Just to let you know guys Covid 19 test here in Dubai is 249 AED which we did with the last 500 AED we had. 3 Months of not paying rent and every time being scared that the Landlord will see us now I am used to small threats in life. I do believe that corona has made me more stronger. 

Since half salary I started my YouTube journey. I think it was always inside me but never got chance to come out because being a content creator also needs money these days. I started with the slide shows. I didn't know nothing about filming and editing. Still I use free video editor. People ask me why you always film with front camera I can't answer. The reason is the lenses of my back camera isn't working. So I have to ask my better half to give her camera to film when I have to use back camera. 

I don't want your sympathy

I am saying all this to my you all because I know we all are going through the tough situations; I don't want your sympathy and I do believe that this phase will soon end. Life without a challenge is nothing. When we grow old and look back there has to be things that brings smile and tears to you. It has to be mixture of salt and sugar. We have nature of getting excited when life gives sweet to us and we start being scared when it gives salt  but trust me corona was the ghost pepper in our ass. 
In this kind of situations we face lots and lots of things if we observe them carefully then we can be far more better person then we could ever imagine. Working as an Assistant Manager in Restaurant I was privileged to learn so many things and Dubai has been and is so kind to everyone. For hard and smart workers Dubai is the best. This place has given me a lot of happiness. But during this phase I sometimes feel Insecure. 30+ aged man with USD 12500 loan on his head unemployed and hasn't even started to live the life he wants so what I an doing? You know guys what I really want. After I pay loan I want to just travel India, Nepal, Sri Lanka and every place I can be see the world meet people, teach them what I know, learn from them, keep writing and making video. I don't have a desire to be super rich and all that may be because I am already old and haven't achieved anything in life. Who would know how much important money is than me but still I don't want to keep running behind it. I just want to enjoy life the way I want but the feeling of insecurity is killing me. Will my desire will ever come true I wonder?
What's your ultimate desire? If you will read this please let me know in the comment below. If You will have spare time do visit our channel. 

                                                           The Roka Way

Love you all 
Sushil Roka  


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